The Key to Overcome the Perfect Emotion Storm is to Slow down and Take a Deep Breath
So, right after the day I wrote my previous blog post: A Path to Self Discovery – Love Yourself More by Practicing Mindfulness, I came across another emotional blow that made me feel like I was in an emotional perfect storm – you know, when a lot of bad sh*t happening at the same time. It was one of the worst days of my life (as far as I can remember). I know I have been talking about mindfulness, but I found out that day that mindfulness barely worked with a person like me. Those bad emotions got the best of me.
One thing I noticed is how much our body and mind are so connected, news transmitted to me online sent a shockwave through my body, with my heart taking the biggest hit. I started shaking, my heart literally pounded erratically.
That night, I went to bed at three after three hours of horrible phone calls. (No worries guys! Everything is alright. No one died :)) I was determined to meditate every day so I tried sitting up straight and close my eyes as usual. I found my “home” (in and out of the breath) but I could not focus at all, the only thing I felt was the beat of my heart and the physical pain that followed it.
I must admit I have been a very impatient person, I always want things done fast. When I applied for jobs, my mind itched so much I needed to know the result right after I mailed in the resume. I get anxious very easily and it would kill me inside if people take things slow around me – especially when it is something to do with my well-being. I had allowed myself to dwell in such stage that it finally exhausted me. The Thai monk that I revered and whom I followed on the quest of mindfulness (Luang Por Pramoj Pramojjo) once told me that I get too impatient including when I practice mindfulness. I did not know how to relax and I felt like I had to try to be mindful all the time. I wanted to be good, without knowing that the “good” that I so wanted to be in fact stems from “the urge” – this urge, I will write about it next time, is actually not a good thing if you do not ACKNOWLEDGE it.
In that emotional whirlwind, I was trying to practice mindfulness – did not work, it was worse than before.
How to deal with it:
Suddenly, I realized that I was not ready for the practice of mindfulness at that time. Luang Por Pramoj Pramojjo suggested that, for those whose minds are not strong enough – do not force mindfulness, or try to”acknowledge” that emotion because it puts a lot of weight on your mind and your mind will become too stressed. I took his suggestion to heart and instead of sitting up straight and tried to acknowledge things, I lay down and instead of focusing at the breath, I focused on the rise and fall of the stomach instead. At this point, JUST FOCUS on your “home”. Only focusing, without ACKNOWLEDGING will give your mind the peace we desperately need during that perfect storm. When your mind calms, so does your body. In my case, my heart resumed to beat at a normal pace. Lo and behold, that pain that I thought was bad, was not as bad. I managed to “manage” it.
Today I feel very, very good.
Don’t rush on your practice of mindfulness. Pure focusing in meditation helps calm the mind and prep it for the practice of mindfulness. We have to be tactical with our minds. We can’t control it but we can make peace with it.
Happy being happy!