A Path to Self Discovery – Love yourself more by practicing mindfulness

Eternity of Sadness is in-fact, Short-Lived

Are you suffering from someone you love? Someone you love has just left you? Have you lost something near and dear to your heart? You should know that there is no one else who could love you more than yourself and it starts from knowing how to manage your thoughts.

If you really think about it, it’s your own evil thoughts that play tricks on you but you just blame others for causing you the pain. John Mayer once sang in his song “I don’t trust myself (with loving you)”:

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Me or the thought of me?
Me or the thought of me?
Me or the thought of me?

I find this phrase very interesting: Me or the thought of me?. When someone leaves you, you cry your heart out like it is going to tear you apart. Is it him/her you are crying for or is it the “thought of him/her/it” that your mind conjures? Don’t blame that person. No one is to blame, including yourself.

The reason why we can’t seem to get out of the misery is because our mind is buried in what happened in the past. Those evil thoughts are so strong that they keep dragging you back into the black hole where you are bound to dwell in it. By not being able to get out of that hole is to subject yourself into the eternity of sadness. Do you really want that? I don’t think so. First and foremost, you have to get rid of whatever/whoever that causes you the pain. Stop making that problem as your present and future, let it only be your past.

Now we are only left with “the thought of him/her/it”

The predator (in your mind) is always a predator – you can’t change that. Old habit dies hard. It’s the victim that needs to get up and fight.

Remember, no one can rescue you but yourself. The key is to “manage your own thoughts”. Sure, it is hard. I am at the beginning of the journey and is encountering a lot of obstacles. However, I am hopeful and really feel like it can be done. In this mad, mad world, I found something that helps calm my mind, and that is mindfulness.

How do we manage our own thoughts? I started following a revered buddhist monk in Thailand (Luang Por Pramote Pramojjo), who preached about mindfulness. It is a very scientific approach to managing our feelings. The final destination of buddhists is “nirvana”, yes, Nirvana like the band. Nirvana is the state where we are free of sadness, temporary happiness and achieve “true happiness”. Mindfulness is a way to get there. You don’t have to be buddhists to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is for everyone, especially those with sad souls. I am a novice in mindfulness but I feel like it has changed my life. The sadness that used to feel like eternity now seems to be short lived.

The practice of mindfulness as I see it:

Step 1: Identify the “home” for your mind. This step is what people do for meditation. They focus their mind on one thing. The home can be your breath, the movement of your hand or noticing the rise and fall of your chest or stomach. In my case, I use the breath as my home – focusing on the in and out of it.

Step 2: Dedicate some time during the day to meditate. Sit up straight in a quiet environment. Start focusing on your “home” emotion. You will start noticing that your mind will start to wander away from your home, once it starts wandering, ACKNOWLEDGE IT – knowing how you feel at that moment. According to the monk I listen to, that’s what is called “the moment of awaken”. You will see also that once the moment of awaken takes place, whatever emotion that your mind wandered to away from your home. That emotion is extinguished. But the moment of awaken does not stay for long, your mind will start wandering again. It’s your job to “acknowledge” that your mind has wandered. The monk said once you keep practice acknowledging your mind for some time, the moment of awaken becomes more frequent – emotions that your mind wander too that causes you pain, will become short-lived.

This is just the surface of the practice of mindfulness. I have tried it and have experienced a greater peace of mind. It is working for me and so here I am writing about it for whoever that stumbled on to my blog can read and try it as well. I am not an expert in mindfulness but this is what I am working on and I have started to see changes in me.

Join me in the path to self-discovery: More to come! 🙂

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Image: Spring Flower in Central Park, Spring 2013
Taken with: Nikon D5100, 18-105 mm

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3 responses to “A Path to Self Discovery – Love yourself more by practicing mindfulness

  1. Enjoy your journey of self discovery Fon and the doorway through which one must pass to truly understand humanity. You will be greeted with beauty and ugliness, but the tension between these paradoxes is where Mystery truly touches the heart to its very depths:)

    • Mom,

      Completely agree, it’s not easy – rather shocking in fact. There are moments in the meditation that I feel I can see that the Mind and the body are separated (Momentarily). It’s a very strange feeling like there is space between my mind and the feeling that I feel, say – the pain in my back while sitting. Sounds confusing right? haha. I know you have been looking at mindfulness articles, have you ever practiced?

  2. I practice meditation daily Fon and it has aided greatly in my ability to see more clearly or to be mindful of what is transpirung around and within me. This Life is mysteriously and wondrously complex – many don’t get to the point of realizing it:) you are on your way to a Life of depth…gratefully embrace all you are shown:) love, mom

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